Do You Feel Like Your Marriage Is In Trouble?


You initially thought that the problems started during the Presidential Election of 2016, but looking back the signs were evident long before that. You wish, however, that you would have known when to see a couples counselor instead of waiting until things got so complicated. By the time that you visited the family counselor for marriage advice, you had made several mistakes that you wish you could take back.
The long evenings home alone when your younger daughter was out babysitting were the worst. Your husband tried to ask you to watch movies with him, but you had absolutely no interest in sitting and watching a movie that you cared nothing about. And even though you knew that it would make his night if you even sat in the same room with him, you could not make yourself do it. Ever since the night when you sat up worrying until 2:00 am waiting for him to get home from a work meeting you had been wondering if this is when to see a couples counselor.
You had gotten so angry that night, you actually drove over to the hotel where he was supposedly at a business meeting. You parked next to his car, waled toward the hotel lobby, but stopped just short of walking in. You were relieved that there was a group of men sitting in the lobby, but you were too embarrassed to walk in to confirm that your husband was in the group.
Even more angry, you got back in your car and drove home. After waiting another hour, your husband finally called and said that he was finally on the way home. When you asked why he never called, he merely said that you could tell where he was at from the device on your cell phones, and it really was not a big deal. No big deal to him, but you were so angry you could hardly speak. You did not yell, you did not argue, but you did not talk to him either.
This election did not help. No part of you could understand how a husband of yours could vote for someone who had treated the women the way the male candidate had and you will never understand the anti abortion platform. In short, when to see a couples counselor was probably six months ago. So much of the anger that you felt seemed to have become a permanent part of you.
How Do You Know When to See a Couples Counselor?
While pre-marriage counseling is a common part of many couples\’ wedding preparations, the fact is that many couples who were married in previous decades never took part in the discussion of premarital counseling topics. And it may be these same questions that young couples use today that could help married couples who are in trouble. Finding out, for instance, that it really does matter how long you have been married, communication is always important. It is important to communicate about late nights at the office, it is important to communicate about money that you have spent and money concerns that you may have.
Lack of communication about money matters, in fact, is a common stress in marriages. If ignored, money problems are a leading cause of the breakup of many marriages. And while a happy marriage is one of the most important life objectives for 93% of Americans, the first marriages that fail end within the first eight years. Statistically, the research indicates that in the U.S. an estimated 40% to 50% of all first marriages, and 60% of all second marriages, will end in divorce.
The decision to see a marriage counselor might, however, help you save your marriage. Did you know, for instance, that nearly 75% of couples receiving therapy are better off than similar couples who did not receive therapy? When you get to the point where you no longer communicate with your spouse it is likely that you may need to visit a counselor who can help you reconnect and reopen the lines of conversation. Making the decision to seek marriage counseling before you reach the point where everything from the presidential election to a late arrival home causes problems should be the goal.